So when we started the second adoption process I was excited to finally get to that place but also scared to death because of all the changes in the Korean program and because of the long waits. Most of all I was scared because I did not forget what the wait for Matthew was like. So many people told me during the wait that once he is in your arms it will disappear just like that.
Well, I will admit that it didn’t. So to get back in line for that crazy roller coaster ride again seemed a little crazy. I mean Matthew had been home less than 6 months. Were we ready? Financially we weren’t. We are learning that we were going to have to pay double the amount we thought to finalize Matthew’s adoption. Which we didn’t plan on. Were we nuts?
Well here is the story, it’s a long one but know it’s worth it!
Financially we weren’t ready to fund another adoption. But with rumors of Korea shutting down their program in 2012 and the new law changes we felt that we should at least get started. We wouldn’t need the bug chunk of money right away and I started selling thirty-one to help support the adoption during the long wait. Now I had never been to a thirty-one party or even had a thirty-one lunch bag. I was looking for something and all of a sudden everyone had thirty-one lunch bags and purses. They were all around me and I looked into it. You must keep in mind that I don’t like public speaking. I don’t like standing in front of everyone. Gosh, sometimes I even break out in hives. But I was willing to give it a try because as anyone knows who longs for a child, you will do anything to get there. You will get out of your comfort zone if that is what it takes. So I took a step out in faith and started my thirty-one journey hoping that would at least make my $99 back. I had my first party, then my second, then my third and it kept going. My business took off and in the month of March I made over $1000 for working about 6 hours of my time!
Meanwhile, from when we were researching adoption agencies with Matthew I still got emails when waiting children came up for adoption. I clicked on the PA agency that I knew off and saw a sweet face. A face that made me stop and stare. And as any rational person would do I requested his file right away without asking the hubs. I filled out a preliminary form and asked if we could adopt a Waiting Child with Holt (the Korean agency the PA agency works through). She told me to get another doctors letter and four weeks went by before I got the drasted doctor letter ( if you are still following me from my the first adoption you know what I had to go through to get it). Meanwhile someone had got the little boys file and I was told that they were going to say yes. I still felt drawn to the little boy. It was a weird feeling but I couldn’t stop going back to the agency’s group and reaching all about them. Well within a day we heard back from the Korean agency who said we could adopt a waiting child through them. When I inquired about the little boy I was told he matched with the family I knew that this little boy was not our little brother but God had used him to draw me to this agency instead of using Matthew’s agency. I felt at peace with it and loved that they were actually in our state so we didn’t need to use two different agencies for one adoption but them and only them.
In the meantime the hubs and I were trying HARD with many obstacles to finalize Matthew’s adoption, when he got a new job. Which was 90 minutes away. Which meant that he didn’t get home till 6:30-7 every night. So we decided to move. Great right? Well everyone is well aware of the housing market and people who have moved with a toddler knows that showing a house with a one year old knows that your house always has toys thrown all over the play. Sometimes it might even look like Toys R Us threw up in your house. We put our house on the market and hoped for the best. Then the 90 minute commute started getting to my husband and the winter weather did not cooperate at all and we started looking at buying a house while trying to sell the one we were living in. We couldn’t find anything.We had plenty of house showing but there was always one thing that they didn’t like about it. The hubs was ready to cut that long commute and we knew we couldn’t buy another house and adopt. Then my mom called me and said that my old neighbors in my hometown have a house for rent. The house was half the size of what we’re used to living in. It came down to the a decision between do we want a house or another child? We felt we were being led to adopt again so we took a risk and went from home owners to renters…three blocks from my parents. We moved from the capital area of the state to having to drive 45 minutes to a Wal-Mart and at least 30 minutes to a McDonald’s. No cell service and most people’s average speed on the back roads was 35 miles/hour. I’ll admit it, we were spoiled. It was going to be a big change moving back.
So after our move I couldn’t find a job back home and was traveling 90 minutes one way to work. We were also having to redo a lot of our paperwork with address and financial changes.
Meanwhile while we needed to drive 4.5 hours for our adoption training at our agency. We got news that we got two offers on the house!!! Yay, but if we wanted to sell the house we were going to take a hit….and that hit was taking our adoption fund. If we didn’t sell it we would be loosing our mortgage payment every month while paying rent.
It was stressful as we wondered if we should hold off with the adoption process. Luckily I had my thirty-one that I could step up so we decided to get the home study done and figure out the rest later. Referrals were taking up to 2 years anyway so we would have time to save once we didn’t have a mortgage. We would have plenty of time.
Fast forward to July, South Korea passed a new law basically saying that they wanted to shut down the program. They were going to put stricter laws into place and things would be more difficult. My social worker called and recommended that we switch programs. What a shock. Matthew was born in Korea and we have Korea in our hearts. The social worker was concerned and recommended China. There was nothing to lose so she sent my doctor’s letter to their partner in China.
One day later we were denied to adopt a child from China. Door closed.
The social worker said we could press our luck and try. We didn’t know what to do. We could send our home study over to the agency and if they were going to shut down we would lose thousands of dollars. We told the social worker we would get back to her after some discussions.
After many discussions and prayer I felt that Matthew’s brother and our son was in Korea and he was out there. I don’t know to describe how I knew that other than God’s guidance in picking which road we wanted to go. So we started our home study paperwork in Feb and in July 2011 our home study went to Korea. We were praying that we would get matched with a child and that child would come home to us.
Then in August our social worker sent us an email asking us if we could be matched with the waiting child program or if we were in the standard and waiting child program. I told her we could only adopt a waiting child and she didn’t respond after that. As you can guess I was going nuts wondering what that meant. Then two days later she sent me an email saying she has something important to talk to me about but her son was having surgery and she didn’t think she might have time today. Ahhhhhh.really????? So I sat my the phone all day. I had to go to work at three. The phone finally rang at 15 minutes before I had to leave for work and she said I have a little boy to review with you.
And that was it. After all that worry and debating our son was born before we even started his adoption process. He was out there the whole time and within a month after our home study was sent to Korea we had a referral.
Since this has been long enough already, I’m going to have to write a second post on this. This story will be continued. So stay tuned!